Names
XASER'S SHiTWADS!
Description
XASER'S SHiTWADS is a set of ten levels (+1 secret) However, the thing about these levels is that they are all kind of "Joke Maps". Some are old levels that have been "touched up" a little, while some others were made brand-new for the occasion. The "jokes" of the maps vary from level to level. Some are fairly normal (for a while, at least), some have silly ideas behind them, while others are just plain bad (yet in a silly and messed-up kind of way). Anyway, this level set isn't to be taken seriously, so don't start griping about texture mis-alignments and other obvious errors. :P
Filenames
swads_x.wad
Size
9.75 MB
MD5
0867578bec767b1dff085d306d1d078e
SHA-1
cde437578cb8bc777e9ac4e5b437f7d285f667b6
WAD Type
PWAD
IWAD
DOOM2
Engine
ZDOOM
Lumps
181
Maps
11
 
MAP00, MAP01, MAP02, MAP03, MAP04, MAP05, MAP06, MAP07, MAP08, MAP09, MAP10
===========================================================================
Archive Maintainer      : N/A
Update to               : N/A
Advanced engine needed  : ZDoom
Primary purpose         : Single+Coop play
===========================================================================
Title                   : XASER'S SHiTWADS!
Filename                : Swads_X.wad
Release date            : 1-17-04
Author                  : The Masters of Insanity (See below for more info)
Email Address           : E-Mail me (Xaser) at xaser_88@hotmail.com if you have
                          any questions.
Other Files By Author   : Uh... This is our first work together as a group, but
                          I (Xaser) Have made a few other wads. Just look for
                          anything ending in _X or go to my homepage at
                          www.geocities.com/xaser_88/main for links to all
                          of my works.
Misc. Author Info       : The Masters of Insanity is a group consisting of 3
                          members (as of the time of writing), Xaser, Trinity,
                          and Taranis. This is our first work together as a
                          group, but look for more from us soon!
Description             : XASER'S SHiTWADS is a set of ten levels (+1 secret)
                          However, the thing about these levels is that they
                          are all kind of "Joke Maps". Some are old levels
                          that have been "touched up" a little, while some
                          others were made brand-new for the occasion. The
                          "jokes" of the maps vary from level to level. Some
                          are fairly normal (for a while, at least), some have
                          silly ideas behind them, while others are just plain
                          bad (yet in a silly and messed-up kind of way).
                          Anyway, this level set isn't to be taken seriously,
                          so don't start griping about texture mis-alignments
                          and other obvious errors. :P

Additional Credits to   : The people who made MOCK2, for inspiration.
                          Yes, I know people will probably gripe about me
                          because this is kind of similar to MOCK2, but
                          oh well.
                          
===========================================================================

* STORY *

Once upon a time there were 2 guys named Jim and Bob. One day, Bob was taking
a shower and Jim was brushing his teeth and Bob said "Hey, can you pass the
soap?" and Jim said "What do I looke like, a chair?". Then, Bob gets really
mad and pulls a rocket launcher out of nowhere (actually from behind a big
rock) and blows Jim into pieces. Then, after he realizes what he's done, Bob
steals an airplane in order to escape from the wrath of King George. However,
he didn't know how to fly a plane so he crashed somewhere in southern Kansas.
He got out of the wreckage and sees a house. He starts walking to the house
but then realizes that it's not really a house and it's really a giant flesh-
eating robot that's shaped like a house. Bob tried to run away, but he gets
swallowed whole. He then wakes up and realizes that instead of being in 
giant robot's stomach, he was in hell. Bob then exclaims "I am in hell!".
Then, bob sees a gun on the ground so he picks it up and starts to shoot
people. Then he realizes that they're not really people but are really mutant
zombie vampire dudes and demons so he still continues to shoot stuff. He then
starts looking for a way out of hell and he sees a sign that says:
"TO LEAVE HELL, GO THIS WAY! --->",
So he follows the arrow on the sign. However, even more badguys come up and
Bob says "Shit" and starts shooting, then he says "Shit" again and then he
says "Shit" again and again and again for a really long time because this is
really XASER'S SHiTWADS. Then, Bob says "This isn't hell, it's a game!" and
he then starts trying to win the game, but he can't. Then Bob decides to use
a lifeline, so he phones a friend (you) and when you pick the phone up, you
and Bob suddenly switch places so now you have to get through Hell and find a
way out. So our story begins. This is XASER'S SHiTWADS!

(sic)

===========================================================================

* What is included *

New levels              : 10 normal levels + 1 secret.
Sounds                  : No
Music                   : Yes
Graphics                : Yes (new textures)
Dehacked/BEX Patch      : Yes (a tiny one used to make the exits more user friendly)
Demos                   : No
Other                   : Yes (MAPINFO and maybe a few other Zdoom lumps.)
Other files required    : Latest version of ZDOOM.


* Play Information *

Game                    : DOOM2
Map #                   : MAP01-MAP10 + MAP00
Single Player           : !Y!E!A!H!
Cooperative 2-4 Player  : Untested, but I suppose it would be all right (in
                          a messed up sort of way).
Deathmatch 2-4 Player   : Untested, but I suppose it would be all right (in
                          a messed up sort of way).
Other game styles       : Untested, but I suppose it would be all right (in
                          a messed up sort of way).
Difficulty Settings     : Untested, but I suppose it wo... oops! Wrong sentence!
                          No, but I suppose it would still be all right (in
                          a messed up sort of way).

===========================================================================

* Construction *

Base                    : Levels are New from scratch! Textures are from just
                          about everywhere.
Build Time              : Longer than I had hoped. 
Editor(s) used          : Doom Builder, Wintex, XWE.
Known Bugs              : Well, there are some bugs, but they are completely
                          intentional, since this is a joke mini-megawad.
                          Also, you'll notice that when you exit a level,
                          you die. THIS IS COMPLETELY INTENTIONAL!!!
                          This was just a strange way to make you start from
                          scratch at the beginning of each level. Just don't
                          try to respawn right after you hit the exit switch,
                          'cause then you'll die. Also, if you use godmode,
                          you will still keep your weapons into the next level,
                          which is considered to be MAJOR CHEATING!
May Not Run With...     : Anything other than Zdoom

===========================================================================

* Stupidity Rating *

In the level descriptions, there is a stupidity rating. It works like this:

0-Normal level. Shouldn't be here.
1-Normal level with a hint of stupidity.
2-"Hey! he put too much stupid seasoning in the normal level!"
3-Moderately dumb.
4-Stupid level
5-1st wad!!!111oneone
6-Stupid level on crack
7-Stupid level on acid
8-Average MOCK2 level
9-MOCK2 on Steriods
10-motion.wad

Description is enough for anybody.
===========================================================================

* Levels *

[LEVEL 1: SWITCHED]

Level name          : Switched
Author              : Trinity
Story               : YOUR IN a ROOM with BaDGuyS. YOU DNeed to kiILl all
                      ofthe m adn hit a swich and kil mOR gYs and exit.
Author's comments   : My first level. Obviously not very good, but it's 
                      perfect for this occasion.
Stupidity Rating    : 7

[LEVEL 2: SPIRAL TOWER]

Level name          : Spiral Tower
Author              : Trinity
Story               : There is a big giant volcano mountain thingy that
                      is threatening to kill everything so you need to kill
                      it. Maybe you can stop and ask it for directions, too.
Author's comments   : Considerably better than MAP01, but the redwall theme
                      is pretty eye-popping. Remember that some switches
                      can be used more than once...
Stupidity Rating    : 5

[LEVEL 3: STOMACH]

Level name          : Stomach
Author              : Xaser
Story               : You accidentally got eated by an earthworm and now your
                      in its stomach you have to find a way out befor you
                      get digested and dead and sloppy and digested you have
                      to find a way out befor you can eat lunch because the
                      stomach is sick and makes you puke and vomit and throw
                      up and you are hungry but you cant eat because the
                      stomach is sick and makes you puke and vomit and throw
                      up so you need to get out of the stomach.
Author's comments   : I started this map a LONG time ago, but I recently picked
                      up work on it, and "finished" it. I hope this doesn't make
                      too many people throw up. :)
Stupidity Rating    : 7

[LEVEL 4: TIMELINE]

Level name          : Timeline
Author              : Xaser
Story               : Somebody has insulted you when you were covered in worm shit
                      after you got pooped out by the worm in map03. You have to
                      kill him, but he's a cyberdemon and it's gonna be hard.
                      Also, there is an evil timeline that will be bad if you
                      shoot it so be careful.
Author's comments   : This was an early test for textures that I made a while back.
                      I fixed it up a bit, adding a big secret and touching up the
                      start area a bit. It's still pretty crazy, though.
Stupidity Rating    : 5
Special thanx to    : Whoever made timeline.png.

[LEVEL 5: TELEPORTATION STATION]

Level name          : Teleportation Station
Author              : Xaser
Story               : You gotta to teleport a lot.
Author's comments   : Remember TELEBASE.WAD? Now it's come back to haunt you!
Stupidity Rating    : 6

[LEVEL 6: DARE TO BE STUPID]

Level name          : Dare to be Stupid
Author              : Taranis
Story               : Some evil guy keeps shouting out directions  BUT DONT
                      LISTENTO HIM he is trying to trick yoU! I dare you to
                      be stupid and do the OPPOSITE of whatever he says!
                      DONT fail!?D./z;[]/12/3/
Author's comments   : WARNING: The evil guy may not appreciate some of the
                      things you do, and he may start cursing. :P
Stupidity Rating    : 8

[LEVEL 7: PLZ DIE, KTHX]

Level name          : Plz Die, Kthx
Author              : Xaser
Story               : Somebody wants you to die SO KILL HIM! He is in a 
                      abandoned LABoRAtOrey be careful there ARRE FAILED
                      EXPERIMENTS EVERYwheRE! FINd him and KILl hiM!
Author's comments   : My second level. It's shit. It's shit. But it's fun!
Stupidity Rating    : 5

[LEVEL 8: TELEMAZE]

Level name          : Telemaze (on crack)
Author              : Taranis
Story               : You gotta to teleport a lotter than map05 THere are
                      demoins anD chaingutys AND MORE you have to get through
                      alive and then you can talk to your friend BOB but only
                      after you beat map12 HAH THERE IS NO MAP12! I lied. it is
                      really after map09 then you get HIS FACE?A//ro=2;[,63
                      .
                      .
                      .
                      your mom
Author's comments   : You need to visit rooms 1-10 and step on the numbers in
                      them. Next, shoot all 10 switches in room 0. Finally,
                      go to ROOM X and get ready to FIGHT!
Stupidity Rating    : 6

[LEVEL 9: ASCENT]

Level name          : Ascent up the demon-infested MOUNT SHINANIGANS with only a
                      pistol to start out with and 1000 BADGUTS blocking  your
                      way to the   top and it's really hard and then you go IN
                      the mountain which is really VOLCANO and get blown up JUST
                      KIDDIGN and you have to diffuse a bomb and then go through
                      a red building that says a bad word but the bomb still blows
                      up JUST IN TIME FOR you to FACE a spIDER asdfter going up A
                      ELEVATR and then you FALL REALLLLY FAR DOWN BUT YOu dont die
                      and you get to kill a lottaguys that are glued together and
                      kill them and then youget to kill a lottaguys that are glued
                      together and kill them and kill them again AND THEN YOU GET TO
                      GOTO THE EXIT BUt you really die but you still exit but you
                      die at the same time so you have to start the NEXt tlevel with
                      ONLY A PISTOL AND A HAND good luck this is the longest title
                      for a doom level in the world do i get a medal OMG I GET 2 B
                      IN THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS AND BE RICH AND FAMous
                      except i don't get to be rich my real name is bob JUST KIDDIGN
                      my real name is misty and it isnt at the same time okay ill
                      STFU now if you give me a dollar thanks for the DOLLAR!STFU

Author              : Trinity
Story               : LET;S GO MoUNTIN CLIMBIG!@
Author's comments   : The red theme again. :P At least this one is a tiny bit more
                      serious than the last one. :P i like the :P
Stupidity Rating    : 4

[LEVEL 10: SINISTER FACE]

Level name          : Sinister Face
Author              : Xaser
Story               : YOU HAVE FOUND BOB BUT YOU ARE IN HIS FACE AND YOU WAND TO
                      REVENGE FOR HIM MAKING YOU GO TO HELL SO YOU SAY "GO TO
                      HELL" BUT BOB SAYS "YOU GOTTA KILL MY FACE AND STOMACH TO
                      KILL ME HAHAHAHA" SO NOW YOU GOTTA KILL HIS FACE AND STOMACH
                      TO KILL BOB HAHAHAHA!
Author's comments   : It's really hard and, um, it's really fun, too. Just be careful
                      of those chaingun guys.
Stupidity Rating    : 8

[LEVEL 0: KILL STUFF]

Level name          : Kill Stuff
Author              : Xaser
Story               : You have found a secret level aAND YOU GET TO KILL STUFF
Author's comments   : This level is so secret, I can't tell you anything!
Stupidity Rating    : 1 (It's actually a pretty serious level.) 

===========================================================================

* Copyright / Permissions *

Authors MAY use the contents of this file as a base for
modification or reuse, if you are feeling rather crazy.

You MAY distribute this file, provided you include this text file, with
no modifications.  You may distribute this file in any electronic
format (BBS, Diskette, CD, etc) as long as you include this file 
intact.  I have received permission from the original authors of any
modified or included content in this file to allow further distribution.

===========================================================================

* Where to get this *

The Usual: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors
Web sites: Check Doomworld's /newstuff Chronicles!
FTP sites: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors
The Usual: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors
Web sites: Check Doomworld's /newstuff Chronicles!
FTP sites: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors
The Usual: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors
Web sites: Check Doomworld's /newstuff Chronicles!
FTP sites: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors
The Usual: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors
Web sites: Check Doomworld's /newstuff Chronicles!
FTP sites: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors
The Usual: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors
Web sites: Check Doomworld's /newstuff Chronicles!
FTP sites: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors
The Usual: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors
Web sites: Check Doomworld's /newstuff Chronicles!
FTP sites: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors
The Usual: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors
Web sites: Check Doomworld's /newstuff Chronicles!
FTP sites: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors
The Usual: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors
Web sites: Check Doomworld's /newstuff Chronicles!
FTP sites: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors

(sorry, my CTRL and V keys got stuck there. :P)

Kill Stuff (MAP00)

DM Spawns
8
Co-op Spawns
8
Par Time
00:01

Switched (MAP01)

Par Time
00:01

Spiral Tower (MAP02)

Par Time
00:01

Stomach (MAP03)

Par Time
00:01

Timeline (MAP04)

Par Time
00:01

Teleportation Station (MAP05)

Par Time
00:01

Dare to be Stupid (MAP06)

Par Time
00:01

Plz Die, Kthx (MAP07)

Par Time
00:01

Telemaze (MAP08)

DM Spawns
0
Co-op Spawns
2
Par Time
00:01

Ascent (MAP09)

DM Spawns
0
Co-op Spawns
5
Par Time
00:01

Sinister Face (MAP10)

Par Time
00:01
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